Friday, July 1, 2011

A Year Out

Yesterday was the anniversary of my weight loss surgery. I got on the scale and saw 162.4, the same weight I've been for about two months, give or take an up or down. From the weight I was in the doctor's office, and I'm going to go from there from now on, I have lost 97.8 lbs. That's pretty damn good.

On the other hand, in my typical Puritan mindset, I'm thinking: why couldn't you go for the full 100? Huh? HUH?

I could if I worked on it so leave me alone, Diffidence Abbott. (That's my Puritan name. What's yours? And while we're on the subject my Indian name is Woman Who Loves Fringe.) Anyway, I think instead of trying to lose my weight, I've been trying to figure out how much food I can eat and what food to eat to keep myself where I am - and healthy. Hopefully, I'm working it out, although I have ventured into some dangerous sugary shoals.

Although I have not eaten candy, except for the lousy chocolate in protein bars, and I question whether that is anything like the real thing but a facsimile concocted to make us chocoholics believe we're eating our favorite food, I have tried store-bought cc cookies, one at a time. The result? Not real impressed.

Yesterday, I ate two or three - three I think - bites of D's brownies at work. I spread the bites over the day. This sounds as though I planned them, but I didn't.

I have the urge to eat at work. What's that about?

Here's what I think: it's a combo of boredom, stress and just get-me-through-the-day-itis. I need to stop because it's a very bad habit even if I'm eating almonds or cheese or protein bars. Am I really hungry? I don't think so but I do get uncomfortable if there's nothing there, if I forget the nuts. I could be hungry, which would mean I'm not eating enough at lunch, but I feel I am. The stomachette feels full and sometimes even too full.

Well, I'll keep working on it. Meanwhile, I'm happy I'm a Size 12 and the year is over and the surgery is over. The memory of that experience will stick with me a loooong time. Don't want to do that again.

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