MORE YOURSELF

A dear friend of mine had WLS last April. I saw a picture of her on Facebook yesterday her husband posted and my first impression is that she looks more herself. It was also the first thought I had when I saw her after the surgery. She had lost a lot of weight before hand and it's going very slowly now but still the outline of her face was more distinct. She's always been overweight since I've known her, but it's as though the extra pounds blurred not only her features, but herself.

So this morning I woke up and thought my strong dissatisfaction with my life, my determination to start writing again is all part of my becoming more myself. My own overweight blurred my course. It was what I realized when I knew I had to have the surgery or sit here watching crap TV and eating Mrs. Fields for the rest of my life.

I've always believed that my job as a human being is to become the best me I could be. I've fallen down on that task, way down, but now I'm struggling back.

164.2

164.2 pounds is what I weigh now. to some people that may seem like too much but to me, it's almost 100lbs down from where I started. I've been hovering in the low-160's for about a month and a half, going up and down within a few pounds. It's not a bad place to be at all, but it's too close to 170 which is too close to 200.

I guess I don't believe I won't gain it all back. I've done it before.

I realized the other day that I haven't been trying to lose more weight. I'm just trying not to move too far from where I am now. But I would like to lose a little and will have to work at it. I'd rather not but it's the only way to get where I want to be.

Also, the weight will come off. Not like before when I practically had to starve to lose it.

I seem to eat a lot more now, although it's just in comparison to the months right after surgery. The thing I have to watch is eating too often. Because I had to get all the protein in, I had small meals 6 times a day. There's a small possibility that I might not have to do that anymore!

Think about, Margot.